How Can I Help My Husband If I Am Unmarried?

This is an article that I wrote in the spring of 2009 for "Shining Stars Magazine". The Article's original title was "How Can I Help My Husband If I'm Single", but I now prefer using the term unmarried over single. This is because we are not "single" as a member of a family, nor in the body of Christ. We are simply "unmarried" because we are waiting for a spouse. [symple_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"]

Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely truth in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. – Proverbs 31:10-12

I have so often read and studied Proverbs 31 reading it over and over again. The 12th verse has always stood out to me. “She will do him good and not evil all the day of her life.” I have found it so interesting that we are called to do our husbands good, all the days of our life, from the day we are born until the day that we die. How can we do our husbands good when we are waiting for him, and we don’t know who he is? One answer is pray for him, this is probably the most important thing that you can do for him. I always spend time praying for my future husband, even though I don’t know who he is or where he is at in life.

The first time I prayed for my husband was when I was about 9. I wasn’t even thinking about getting married, but I remember laying in bed and the Lord telling me to pray for him. I got up, pushed back the cover and knelt beside my bed and asked the Lord to take care of my future husband. (I’m still waiting to find out what he was going through that was so urgent, but I’m sure I’ll find out someday.) I’d like to say that from that point on I prayed for him everyday… but I haven’t. I didn’t really even think about him again until a year or so ago when the Lord was teaching me the importance of keeping my heart for my husband. In this respect also I am helping him, by considering myself married. Already it helps me daily to keep my heart, and when I pray for him it lets me know that he is out there somewhere, hopefully praying for me as well. I try to pray for my future husband everyday, asking the Lord to help him, bless him, and teach him everything that he needs to know.

Another thing I think is very important to pray for, is asking the Lord to help my future husband to keep his heart and wait for the Lord to bring us together. I know that if he struggles as much as I do he will need a lot of prayer. I also try to pray for his parents, though I don’t do this nearly as often as I should. I know that my parents have a big influence in my life, I’m sure that his parents have a large influence on him as well. As thinking of them as future in-loves (as my mother likes to call them) then we need to be praying for them as well, asking the Lord to give them wisdom in their role in his life.

My other favorite thing to do in helping my husband is my hope chest. I love making things and preparing for our years of marriage and parenthood (and hopefully grandparenthood and great-grandparenthood!). My friends and I are at the moment doing a baby blanket swap, I am making a baby blanket for each of their hope chests and in exchange am receiving one from each of them. I have my chest full of things, there is a queen size bed quilt that my great-grandmother made for me. This quilt is truly a gift from the Lord, because I was about 2 or 3 when my great-grandma made it. The funny thing is that I didn’t really have a taste or preference at that age and it’s exactly what I would want for my house! I also have a set of 7 dish-drying towels that I hand embroidered, a set of hand-drying towels, a set of dish towels, a set of pot holder, and numerous other items that I have either made, collected, or inherited over a few short years since I started my hope chest. We have an old family friend, that every so often, when she’s out shopping, she’ll get something for my hope chest. The other day she got me a pie scoop! My favorite thing that just happened a few weeks ago was I found out that the Lord had answered my prayer five years before I asked it! I had been looking for a doll just like the one I had when I was little and I found one on the internet and had wanted to buy it. But how conveniently the Internet shut down just as we were about to place the order! I was getting worried when I sat down at the table and noticed sitting next to me was a doll just like the one I was looking for! I found out that 5 years ago, my parents had bought one for my future first daughter! Not only had they bought one for me, but also two other for my two brothers when they got married!

The Lord truly will provide if we trust in Him, and wait on Him. I could tell so many stories about the different things the Lord has taught me over the few short years since I gave my life to Him! But one thing He has taught me is that if we wait and trust fully and completely in Him, and if it is His will, He not only does what we have asked, but he will fulfill it above and beyond what we expect!

“Wait on the Lord: be of Good courage, and he shall strengthen thine hear: wait, I say, on the Lord.” – Psalm 27:14